Hook'em Horns!

by John Buzbee

For the past several years, my dad and I have made an annual trip to a big non-SEC campus. The tradition began in 2005, when he called me late on a Friday to ask if I wanted to drive up to Blacksburg. Having just finished my sixth Coors, I naturally agreed; obviously not thinking about the six-hour drive or how we were to get tickets to the third-ranked Hokies vs. No. 5 Miami. Even after seeing the Hurricane beat-down, we decided to pick a game each season. In 2006, we went to Ann Arbor to see Iowa-Michigan and, in 2007, we headed to Happy Valley for Penn State-Wisconsin. Both of those games were huge wins for the home team. This season, we chose Austin for the Missouri-Texas game, which we thought would be a very competitive game, even if the home team had dropped a game the week before to rival Oklahoma.

Bevo was anxious for our arrival.

Plane Trip
Normally I wouldn't write anything about the plane ride. Other than leaving from Birmingham (as opposed to Atlanta) and having a connection in Dallas, there shouldn't be much to talk about. But then we were delayed in Alabama for about two hours due to mechanical issues – Dad overhead a flight attendant tell a passenger that there were issues with the overhead lights, to which we agreed that if there were actually a problem with the landing gear, would they honestly tell the passengers? But the note-worthy moment was meeting Chris Fowler (some may know him from ESPN's coverage of the Breeders' Cup). While he refused my offer to join us in row 36 (he decided to stay in first class), he was nice enough to tell me where Gameday was setup while his henchmen "escorted" me to my seat (with only a few rib shots to the gut!). Overall, a pretty nice guy.

Campus Environment
This trip was our first to a campus in a big city, and while it posed some initial concerns, we did enjoy staying five miles from the stadium for a relatively reasonable rate. (In comparison, we stayed at least 40 miles outside of Happy Valley.) The campus, like downtown Austin, is made up of a bunch of one-way streets and quite a few ‘Do Not Enters,’ which were clearly marked and clearly ignored by my father, making for an eventful car-ride around campus.

We first stopped off at the football field, and visited their trophy room. With it being Texas, I expected a much larger museum, and while they had the 2005 National Championship Trophy and the Ricky Williams’ Heisman, the room did not have too many trophies on display. It was interesting to see the 2005 People’s Choice National Championship Trophy, which makes me believe that if we send a trophy from the Southern Fans’ Poll, then the school will display it. Using my dad’s mantras, “as long as you’re not going through a locked door, it’s not trespassing,” and "just act like you know what you're doing," we were able to make it onto the field, and I was able to walk out the team’s tunnel. That makes three out of four years that we’ve made it onto the field (the lone exception being Beaver Stadium). We also walked into their athletic complex (via a side door held open by a concrete block; again no locked doors), and we actually bumped into defensive coordinator Will Muschamp, who had to wonder how the hell we got in there.

We also went to their university co-op, which would be just like your normal campus bookstore other than it 1) didn’t sell books, and 2) sold all the crap that’s only available for your school on-line. There was actually a supply of pizza cutters that played the school fight song. I’ve never seen one of those for Auburn even on-line. The co-op is located on the drag, which would normally be a good place for the town bars (e.g. Athens). While they did have Austin’s Pizza (self-proclaimed closest bar to campus), apparently the bars re-located to Sixth Street or else were scared off by the Scientology ‘Church,’ also located on the drag. (I couldn’t convince Dad to take a Dianetics test... now his Thetans will never be released).

We did hit Sixth Street later in the evening, though we didn’t make it into the Piano Bar or Maggie Mays. Almost all the bars and restaurants have opened roofs to accommodate more people, and the place must get crazy on big game weekends and special events. We had drinks on the roofs of the Iron Cactus and Blind Pig Pub before grabbing dinner at Daddy’s, where we bumped into a Mizzou fan that went to Auburn for a few years, and who, at 9:30 p.m., was as my dad said, “drunker than Cooter Brown.” His friend had already begun trying to round him up. But Cooter did give us one of many ‘War Eagles’ over the weekend. Amazing how the interlocking AU is recognized across the country.

Girl takes a twirl on a mechanical bull while tailgating. Probably shouldn't have that third Miller.

Tailgating
Our biggest concern early on Saturday was (first) finding a parking spot, and (closely followed by) finding a Bloody Mary. Amazingly the latter gave us more trouble. We were able to park on the street for free, but it took us a good while to find a restaurant offering to mix us a drink (thank God for El Cualenzela). We’ve realized that while walking around campus, the best way to get noticed is to wear Auburn gear, and luckily I wore Blue, which easily stood out amongst the Burnt Orange (or Dirt Brown, as Dad calls it). Usually the Auburn clothes garner attention and (when lucky) an invitation to join the tailgate with food and beer. This time it got us free Texas chili and drinks from their cooler-keg, which is a pretty cool invention that I hadn’t yet seen.

In Michigan, we noticed that everyone cooked but that it was probably done for warmth. In Texas, we noticed that everyone cooked, and they do so to eat, and eat, and eat. There was no scarcity of food nor grills, and Longhorn fans take their grilling quite seriously. Large grills were the norm, and the majority were brought in on trailers. The winner was the group serving 300 people on 150lbs of brisket, 100lbs of chicken, and 50lbs of potato salad. Their setup was enormous

For your enjoyment (and amazement), I've included a few of the grills we came across.

And these guys were clearly the winners... their four wood-burning grills on a trailer equipped with two LCD televisions. The final picture shows one of the briskets...

While Texas fans were confident on their chance to win, none were arrogant or annoying, though they really do hate Oklahoma fans. The real downfall was the Texas ladies, which heading to Austin, I thought would be a huge plus. But unfortunately, while I was expecting Ole Miss, I realized it was more like Mississippi State – while there were some gems, there was much, much more rough. While everything actually does appear to be bigger in Texas, I will say that when appropriate, cutoffs and cowgirl boots make for a nice visual.



Texas vs. Missouri
Since the tickets were through the athletic department, we had to pick them up two hours before kickoff, and that got us into the game a little bit earlier than normal (and for the better, considering that after tailgating for eight hours, it wouldn't have been hard to keep being fed from the cooler-keg). While the stadium appeared enormous, it really was nothing compared to Godzillatron. For those who may not know, Texas has a 7,370 square foot high definition video screen that moonlights as a scoreboard, at least when it's not showing countless ads.

The Godzillatron in all it's glory.

Our seats turned out to be tolerable: 35-yard line, 25 rows up (but on the Missouri sideline), we were seated next to Mrs. Muschamp and her two sons. Unfortunately, either in our dismay for how great the seats were or how many drinks we'd garnered from the cooler-keg, we didn't realize that Mrs. Muschamp was actually Will's sister-in-law until she clued us in at the end of the first half. Until then though, you'd never have seen two bigger Texas supporters dressed in Auburn gear.

While our seats were great, the highly-touted game was not. As Dad said, we went to see the game of the day, and witnessed a mugging instead. While Chase Daniel looked inept in the first half, a lot of that goes to the Texas defense. The corners locked down on everything, and Mizzou couldn't get the running game to help balance things out. The Tigers have a lot of skill players, but they seem to lack top-notch players in the trenches. While Oklahoma State was able to put some pressure on Daniel last week, Texas ran amok in the Missouri backfield.

One of Colt's 17 straight completions. Yeesh.

Colt McCoy, who looked every bit capable of walking away with the Heisman, was as good as can be. We didn't realize he'd gone 29 of 32 until they pulled him in the fourth quarter. Of course, it was his third touchdown pass that made the game - on 3rd down from Missouri's 32-yard line, Colt threw up a jump-ball in double coverage that was somehow completed. If that didn't make you feel that this game was going to be all Burnt Orange, then Colt's completion after he fumbled the ball, picked it up, and flung it for a 23-yard completion pretty much ended the hopes of Missouri fans. A 35-3 lead at half was enough for Mizzou fans to debate whether the Gary Pinkel-to-Washington rumors would be that bad.

Overall, another pretty great trip. I can't honestly hold it up to the Penn State trip, which will go down as probably our best ever, considering how great of fans we were able to party and tailgate with, but overall the trip was great fun. Unfortunately, after four years, we're still waiting for a game to follow suit.